Dreaming

I dreamt you came back
You were at my door
I didn't know it was you out there
I didn't know you would come in
Why are you here?
How did you know where I live?
I want to tell you how much you ruined me
I want to tell you what a bloodsucking cunt you are
But I just stare
And your giant eyes stare back at me
You nose points at me
And your gigantic mouth is open in that asshole smirk
As if to say "Well?"
As if to imply "Nothing to say?
Because you're weak?
Because you're useless and a fuck up?
And you don't have the guts to do anything?
Why don't you go stand on a stage and make that face?
Cry along with it.
Just like at festival.
Ruin my show and I ruin your life."
I keep saying to myself in my head
THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM!!!!!!
WAKE UP!!!!
WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!
WAKE UP!!!!
Hours go by
And I can't wake up
She stares back at my mocking me
Imitating my face
Tears slowly roll down my cheeks
And I can't breathe
After about four hours
Or so
And sleeping through my alarm clock
My mom wakes me up and asks if I'd like to work out
I say no
I attempt to sleep again
And I can't
About an hour later I get up and attempt getting dressed
I've gained so much weight that my clothes do not fit me
I spent hours the night before
Setting up all my clothing and jewelry
Making sure everything matched perfect
But I can't sit down without two inches of bare ass crack showing
I try and change my shirt and jacket
To cover my back
And no other shirt and jacket matches the pants
WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING AT ME?
I change into about five different outfits
Finally, I find the most unflattering
Cold
Ugly
Unmatching outfit
And it is the only thing that still fits me
TURN OFF THE WAR MOVIE AND FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE
The day gets a little better
Then I'm at the store
And I see her pussywhipped gay husband
And her silly pressured daughter
I have too many plans to break
But It's been over nine hours and I'm still so upset
I'm cold and tired as fuck
But I don't want to sleep
Because I don't want to dream
Because you might be there