Curvalicious

She walked back and forth in her house barefoot, her cold, yet sweaty feet picking up each speck of dirt they touched on the carpet. She wore fleece cupcake print pants and a t-shirt that read "Curvalicious" when she first got that shirt as present from Judy, it had hung on her so loosely. Now it fit perfect, making the word across the breast more suiting than ever.
As she read Heartless, she followed the character of Hanna as she entered the mental hospital. She no longer felt like a freak. She no longer felt like she had to read these books pretending to be rich and popular like the girls in these books, because here they end up anyway. Hannah sat down at the table with the 'losers'. One of the girls was described as nasty goth pale, she thought "Just like me." as she read it. Then the girl was introduced as Alexis, she flinched at her name.
How can things go from so good to so bad? How can something be better than ever, but be disappointing all at once? Her mind floated to these thoughts of her real life as she gazed at the book without actually reading the words in front of her. Her once energy filled body felt sluggish and tired. She decided she would treat herself better and get in shape, just like she promised him she would. So, why did a midnight Mickey D's run sound so fucking good right now?
She downed another diet pill, walked in a circle and did sixty reps on each arm with her shake weight. That 7.5 mile walk did nothing. And those calories burned with reiki the day before well, they were cancelled out by the tiny cup of chocolate ice cream she snuck during her work meeting. She planned to work so hard all night, and to get up at 5 and work out. Wear her shape ups the remainder of the day and work as hard as she can, using as much will power as possible the remainder of the day.
You're getting the foot surgery on Thursday, remember? The voice in her head said to her. And you know you're too much of a baby to work hard with sore feet. Why did that voice sound so much like you? Like that nasty, nasally, high voice that she used to hear every time she looked in the mirror or heard her own voice, now it's been coming less and less. Why are you still here? She sings again. And she sings in first soprano. All the damage you've done, it's going away now, through medication and through close talks with who might one day be her soul mate. Do she have to admit to someone that you do this to her? Would that make you leave her alone? Or are you here to stay? To stop her from getting where she'd truly like.

Familiar

As I feel your chest up against me
And you breathing down my neck
It's all so perfect
So familiar
It's the same way it felt
Way back then
I'm 16 again
But I'm not 16 for good
It's the same as it used to be
But like a fine wine
It's matured with age
And with this maturity
You've come to accept
Whom I've become with age
I looked at pictures of us years ago
We were both so gorgeous in our youth
And so innocent as well
I stood next to you
140 lbs
Stick straight two inch long, spikey, blue hair
I look at myself now
172 lbs
Two centimeter long red hair, with messed platinum bangs
I look at you, and you're looking at me the same
Either way you find me beautiful
This connection is still there, it never left
I love the way every second is a new beginning
But at the same time
It's the old me
The old us
It's what I know