Impulse Buys

Every second I think of Skyler Raye
I want to cut off every inch of my skin
I can'teven change in front of a mirror anymore
I see fat
Fat and ugly
I put on a dress unlike me
That suits me and makes me so beautiful
Everyone fawns over me and all I can think it
Jesus Christ on a crutch my head looks so small in comparison to my fat body
Why the hell did I shave off my hair?
What was I thinking?
Now he will never take me back
Alone forever
Cut cut cut
Mutilate
Now I feel better
But no one can know
So, I'm stuck uncomfortable
Under all these layers
BE WITH SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME
I can find no one available
DO WHATEVER POSSIBLE TO AVOID HURTING YOURSELF
Unavailable offer
Buddy's fiance
Not a good choice
Whatever possible, right?
What am I thinking?
FIND SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU FROM YOUR ADDICTION
ANYTHING
PLEASE DON'T HURT YOURSELF AGAIN
YOU HAVE SO MUCH GOING FOR YOU
I just spent over $250 in clothing
That I will never wear
What am I thinking?
And what do I have going for me?
I'm the worst dancer
I give advice when I have no confidance in my words
I make myself busy to avoid hurting myself
But then the work and the cleaning never gets done
That makes me want to hurt myself
It makes me want to hurt myself just thinking
That I lie to everyone
Everyone thinks Skyler Raye and I are together
Happily ever after
I lost the only one who ever knew me
The only I could tell the truth to
The only one who stuck with me
These past three years
I HAVE NOTHING
I AM AS A PRETEEN n00b WOULD SAY
"Epic Fail"
Nothing going for me
I might as well drop out now
I might as well kill myself now
Because nothing is good anymore
I have nothing
And I will never have anything