I got all the pink out of my hair
Cut it straight and even
Traded my black lipstick in
For sheer red
Trade my purple tripp pants in
For blue jeans
But I'll never be the same
I see girls walk into school
Wearing even crazier shit than me
And everyone loves them
They fit in just fine
People think they're normal
And people let me know I'm weird
Girls sit down in class
Begin to ramble about personal things
That no one needs to know
They say things that can't be normal
They say things that are so bizarre
But the second I pipe up
Silence
"She's so weird"
"Who says something like that?"
"Oh, God. Listen to this bitch."
I don't look or act so different
I don't understand what's so wrong
Each day
When I get to school
When I get to the gym
When I get to dance
When I get to church
When I get to the store
I look at all the other girls and think
Why am I so different?
What's so wrong with me?
What was every girl born with
That somehow skipped me?
Why can't I just walk into school?
Why can't I just walk into church?
And walk into a group of people
And fit in?
I see the grungiest low lives
Walk into a room
And have a group
What's that like?
What's having a 'group' like?
I don't know that feeling
I have absolutely no idea whatsoever
Of what that feels like
I wonder how nice it is
A sense of security
Knowing you'll have some people
If you ever just want to jump in and talk
About whatever substance
Is on your mind
But I'll never be the same
As anyone
Girl
Or group
I have thought of you all day my dear. I feel your pain. I often felt that way many times...even when I was part of a group. I used to wonder how I could feel so alone around so many people. I still feel like there is this odd unexplainable distance between me and other people. My guess is that you are very special and do have many gifts...they just are not recognized by our society. I'm almost 30 and finally figuring shit out. I think we all forget life is a journey, not a destination. :) Keep writing! You're amazing!
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